Epiphany
by ImperiumWife
Summary: Barney's reaction to Robin's infertility. Based on ep. 9x08, The Lighthouse.


A/N: I wrote this quick one shot on Sunday night, and was thinking about getting it done for Monday. I'm glad things didn't work out, because the scene between Barney and the Mother was wonderful, and adds another layer to this story.

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It has been a wonderful night so far. Of course, it is obvious why it had been a wonderful night. He had spent it with Robin. Any night that he spends with Robin is automatically wonderful. After all, he's never loved anyone like he loves her. It is why he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. If he can be ecstatic about going out to a club and wingmanning with her, just think about what it is going to be like when he can take her home and spend every day and every night with her, because she belongs to him and only him.

He can see that she has had a great time tonight too. She is the only other person that ever fit into the other hangouts he likes to frequent. The cigar bar, laser tag, and even the exclusive club that he had gotten them into tonight. Somehow she just fits wherever he fits, like she is the missing piece in the puzzle that is his life.

He knew that after his confession of love last week at Splitsville and his later renunciation of the truth, that she without a doubt still loves him. He could see it in her eyes, in their almost kiss that night. But it was the conversation with that girl a few days ago that changed him. It was a turning point for him. He is ready to be with her again, and forever this time. There isn't a doubt in his mind. He is ready. He can now be the man she needs him to be. Still, he isn't sure if she is ready. He knows the obvious physical attraction is there, just as it always was, but on the emotional level, he knows that it will take her almost losing him again to get her to admit her true feelings for him. That's why he spent the last week coming up with his grand plan. His last play ever. The Robin. He has to make her see that she is the only one for him. He has to make her hurt and make her need him so badly that she finally springs into action.

But in planning this play, he knows that he is going to have to give up a lot. He is going to have to spend some time apart from her in a few weeks. He hates to have to do it, but he has to. There is no other way that she will take the play seriously. It was his reason for going out tonight, though, on a random Wednesday in the middle of fall, because he wants to cherish every moment with her while he still can. Plus, when he finally has to 'end' things with her in a week or two, it will make the pain even stronger for her.

Regardless of his plan, it has been a wonderful night. Everything seems to fall into place when he is around her. Watching her ride the mechanical bull earlier was incredible. The way her body twisted and turned made him want to just take her home tonight and start their life together right now. But he found a way to control himself, because he is making plans for a reason.

The conversation is easy when they walk out of the underground bar. She makes an offhand comment about never riding the bull again, and he makes a comment about never wanting these nights to end even when or if she has kids someday. He doesn't add to his thoughts, but thinks to himself that it will of course be his kids too. He hopes that when they are that old married couple, they will still spend some nights like this. He throws the 'bring the babysitter' line in for good measure.

"Actually I, uh, I can't have kids, so that's not an issue." It takes a second for the reality of what she just said to sink in. Their lighthearted stroll has just taken a weird turn. She said it so calmly that he thinks she may be joking. He puts his hand out to stop her and turns around to face her, in order to see if she is really serious.

"Really?" He asks, searching her eyes for any sign that she was joking.

"Yeah," she squeaks out. When he looks into her eyes, he can see the fear of rejection is entirely real. He can tell she is worried about his reaction, that she cares what his reaction to this is. So he does the only thing that feels right to him. He pulls her close to him and comforts her. He can feel her sigh of relief when he grabs her. The hug feels right, like it's what they both need.

In those few seconds, everything he thought about his future has changed. There would never be children of his and hers. All those times he's thought about those children running around their future home. It feels like he's lost something. He doesn't really need children in his life, he needs her more. Living without her isn't an option anymore. A few days ago it would have been different. Whoever that woman was made him realize that he needs her more than anything in his life. It hurts, but he knows that it won't matter in the end.

It isn't till a few seconds later that he realizes how awkward this embrace could be. He is at that point with her, but he knows she isn't there with him yet. He knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, but he still needs to win her back.

"Is weird that I'm hugging you like this?" he asks, because he really has no idea. To him, it's not awkward, but he still feels like he doesn't have the right to do this.

"No. It's not weird." And it isn't. He enjoys having her in his arms; he enjoys comforting her, even if it is just for a few seconds.

And then it starts to rain, and it does get weird. They pull out of the hug and run towards her apartment, which is only a few blocks away. They spend the rest of the night joking and drinking, because there is nowhere Barney would rather be. Even when it is just the two of them, his life feels complete.


End file.
